staying stalwart sucks

i guess i finally agree with you...

it is nicer... it is better... life is easier... things are just simpler, when you have that liquid that just fills wherever and whenever and whatever you need it to go or do. but i hate myself for thinking like that. i hate myself for being so weak... i should be happy because life is good but sometimes i just can't deal. i mean i did the unselfish thing? I always seem too.. but it always leads to two unhappy elements instead of something that at least sometimes functions...longterm i tell myself but that doesn't seem to help the shortterm...

i really hope things work out for you and it seems like things are going well at least superficially... but you know it was a lot to just brush off... like even for you. it was harsh... i couldn't shake it like you did. i tried, i really did try to look the other way... but ultimately that was what wrecked it all. and dont' get me wrong i don't blame you, since it really does take two to tangle and sometimes things just end up as they end up...

things are fine when they are... it is busy enough most of the time with school related shit and horcs is always around at least usually. and then i always can game though you two are even getting too busy sometimes... theres the food blog too and volley ball too... but the other go to, fruit, is gone away and the other go to is stuck being sabotaged with ken masters. then there are the rest but like... it seems we've all drifted and by we i mean me from you guys... nothing to really always be there...

ricky martin is a nice new person i met too... but i hestitate to make sure the music isn't just filling in the gaps and starting the cycle all over again...

Graduation Goggles

they are such a bitch...

things just seem to pop up on the feed right when i'm bored. friends have all gone... it's an off work out day... even the dogs are gone... nothing to do... but sit and brood..

even reddit's garbage... i'm glad i have a food blog going that's calming.... plus this song

<http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWI8ZfPEKpE&feature=youtu.be>

the deed is done

... it was the right thing.

so then why?

gotta stop being a bitch [no msg]

so dumb

why can't i shake the feeling...

brain why can't you win out?....

it is actually killing me....